During my most recent trip abroad, I was on a cruise ship. Our first destination was Grand Cayman, and I was thrilled to go to one of the diving capitals of the world. I love snorkeling , so I obviously thought this was going to be a great stop. We pulled up to the island around 7am or so, and because the waters are so shallow around Grand Cayman, we had to stop around a mile off the coast. It made for a beautiful site, as there were three other cruise ships parked there as well. Four majestic ships lined up off the coast is a sight to behold, and was the first time I had seen such a thing. Weighed down with our snorkeling gear, we took a tender to the shore and immediately sought out a local taxi cab driver. We asked him where the best snorkeling was nearby, and he directed us to his van. For $4 each, he would take us to 7 Mile Beach, which contained a good section of reef, he said.

During the drive, he made sure to point out all the American fast food chains dotting the side of the road, including but not limited to Wendy’s, Burger King, KFC, and Pizza Hut. None of this was much interest to us, as we planned on dining at a local establishment when all was said and done. We arrived at the beach after about 10 minutes of driving, paid the driver and he promised to return for us in three hours time. We settled in on a spot on the beach, waded into the gloriously warm water and put on our gear. The day had finally begun!

The next two hours of snorkeling was good, but not great. The water was not as clear as we were promised, nor were the fish as colorful as we hoped. Nevertheless, we saw a barracuda, and schools of fish ranging in size from very small to very large. We never got more than a quarter mile away from the shore, and the reef that we were exploring was quickly inundated with more and more fellow tourists, hoping to catch a glimpse of something spectacular. It made for several uncomfortable moments when swimming along, and then unexpectedly bumping into someone who is going across your path. 

After retiring from the water, we made our way to a nearby tiki bar, where we finally learned that the US dollar is only worth about 75% of the Cayman dollar. Because of this, everything was more expensive than we thought it would be. A Corona set us back $5 USD per bottle, which is completely outrageous. We finally broke from the beach, returned to our taxi van driver, and had our first bad experience of the trip.

The taxi vans in Grand Cayman evidently do not leave until every seat is filled, no matter how long it takes to do so. We had a group of six people, and there were only two open seats left. But our drive was adament that he fill those two remaining seats. We were left in the air-conditionless van for fifteen minutes, waiting for him to get two more passengers. We even got out and tried to get another driver to take us back to the port, but he refused because we were already with a driver. The driver then came and shut the van doors, locking us in. Eventually he returned with his passengers, and drove us back to the port. All in all, that part of the trip left a lot to be desired.

After getting back to home base, we decided to do some shopping, and immediately found Pirate themed shop that was bustling with a dozen customers already.

We made a couple purchases, then decided to do lunch. We went upstairs to a restaurant that had a deck overlooking the harbor, where we could see some of the cruise ships lined up in the distance.

I ordered conch fritters and fries at a cost of $12 USD, which was a little more than I wanted to pay, given the small portion. The food was good though, so the complaints were minimal.

After this, we made our way, at the request of part of the group, to Margaritaville. I had zero interest in this development, but followed along anyway. And it was during this excursion that my patience finally ran out with Grand Cayman. With four cruise ships docked, and each one dropping off a minimum of 2,000 people, and probably up to 3,500 people for a couple of the ships, there were over 10,000 tourists wandering around in a tiny city, making it disgustingly crowded. Margaritaville was so packed, I could not turn around without bumping into at least two people. Trying to climb the stairs to the second level was impossible, as traffic was at a stand still. It was ridiculous, and I quickly made my out of the store and back to the cruise ship, where I could relax.

All in all, Grand Cayman had the feel that Myrtle Beach has: It’s like Wal-Mart on the beach. There is no authenticity to it, no charm, and way too many people in a closed in area.